


three in the morning

by pipsiev2



Series: Trans, ace, aro, non-binary drabbles? [4]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Coming Out, Gen, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Kihyun, Platonic Relationships, Self-Discovery, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, not specified but trans Changkyun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-21 05:51:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13734489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pipsiev2/pseuds/pipsiev2
Summary: There's something about three in the morning, about the quiet that accompanies it, the comfort that it surprisingly brings, that attracts Kihyun.





	three in the morning

There's something about three in the morning, about the quiet that accompanies it, the comfort that it surprisingly brings, that attracts Kihyun.

He doesn't know how, or when, but at some point he has started to crave the nighttime, the thrill that comes when he sneaks out his window, the excitement that overtakes his veins as he just barely manages to jump onto the tree before moving to the ground. It's when he sneaks out, when he walks alone at night, not knowing what could happen, that gives him a quiet sort of happiness, brings him immense joy that he doesn't know how to get anywhere else.

Kihyun's friends call it dangerous, he calls it finding himself out one adventure at a time. After all, what is life without risks?

Minhyuk gets worried, makes sure that whenever he knows that Kihyun's going to do this - which is more often then not since he's the only one who knows when Kihyun's parents have to leave early enough to not notice if he sleeps well into the afternoon, efficiently destroying his sleep cycle, or if they leave late enough to not be awake as he groggily wakes himself up for school - that he sends a couple of texts within the night, sets alarms for himself to wake up and do so, in order to ensure Kihyun's safety, panicking when Kihyun doesn't answer at least by the time he sends his next text.

Kihyun, meanwhile, doesn't understand the concern that his outings bring, doesn't get why Minhyuk gets so worried about him, because he's been doing this for long enough that he know the telltale signs of danger, knows when to tell if someone's the same as him or if they're looking for something worst. Besides, to Kihyun these outings mean too much to him to stop, it brings him too much emotion that he lacks during the week. It's touching, though, the care that Minhyuk shows him, so he makes sure to respond, not letting his side turn silent like it did that one time he forgot his phone, only to get back home to see Minhyuk sitting under the tree, teartracks on his face and face halfway buried into his phone as he tries to contact Kihyun for the uptenth time that night.

* * *

 

Today, it's raining.

Kihyun doesn't know how he failed to notice before he left his house, how he didn't realize that there was a  _reason_ as to why the branches of the tree were wet, as to why the air was so humid and why it was colder than it would normally be. All he had done when he noticed the chill was grabbed a hoodie, which he was currently thankful for seeing as it was the only reason why he wasn't soaked to the bone.

_**minmin:**  are you home tonight?_

_**minmin:**  its pouring out_

Kihyun instantly wipes his screen, trying to get it dry enough to be able to type back, all the while making sure that he doesn't get off of the sidewalk, because knowing the dangers of the night won't do him much good if he accidentally gets run over by a car.

_**kiki:** in my defense_

_**kiki:**  it wasnt raining when i left_

_**minmin:**  k i h y u n_

Kihyun can't help but frown at his phone, unease gnawing at his stomach at Minhyuk using his actual name, rather than the affectionate nickname that he has come to use more often than not.

_**kiki:** are you trying to get me to feel like a bad puppy_

_**kiki:** because its working_

_**minmin:**  you better be home by the next time i text_

Kihyun opts to ignore the last text, already knowing full well that Minhyuk is aware that he doesn't plan on going home anytime soon, that the rain may even encourage him to stay out for _longer_ , as weird as that may sound. He does, however, look for the rare open store, hoping to find a place to spend the spare few dollars that he had forgotten in the hoodie from the last time that he had worn it on an umbrella, if not for Minhyuk's sake, because he knows that as much as Minhyuk pretends that he's mad, he really just wants Kihyun to be safe.

It takes a couple of minutes to see an open store, and before he could even bring himself to hesitate he's already walking in, immediately making eye contact with the person behind the counter, who was staring at him wide eyed because _what kind of rational human being would be in a random shop at three thirty-ish in the morning while it was pouring outside._

Kihyun clears his throat, raising a hand to give the person a little wave before asking in a soft voice, "do you have any umbrellas?"

The person shakes their head. "No, sorry."

"Thanks anyway," Kihyun nods, turning around to walk back outside before he hears the person call out, "wait!"

Kihyun looks at the person. "It's, uh," the person nervously rubs the back of their neck, "it's really late out, and it's raining pretty bad. Are you sure that you don't want to wait it out in here? I know it isn't much, but I think that being dry and in here is better than being out in the cold rain." The person shrugs awkwardly, fiddling with their own as though they aren't sure of themselves.

Kihyun gives the person a smirk and ruffles his own hair, lifting his hand up so the person could see the water running down his arm. "Yeah, I doubt being outside would change much right now, no offense." His smirk turns into a smile. "I appreciate the concern, though. I'll be sure to keep in mind the next time it rains this late."

Not giving the person a chance to respond, Kihyun was already out of the shop, rain beating against his hood as he walks back towards his house, his last attempt at appeasing Minhyuk. He hopes that his mother didn't wake up and close his window, or, in fact, notice that he was missing, because then he'd be in a bit of trouble.

It's right after he closes the window to his room that he gets the next text from Minhyuk, and rather than answering he opts to send a picture of his bed, making sure that the clock is in view as he adds the caption, _"i went to a store. they didnt have umbrellas. i didnt want to worry you so im back."_

Kihyun doesn't check his phone before he changes his clothes and crawls into his bed, but he can hear the vibrations from Minhyuk's responses, and knows that even if he doesn't respond right now, Minhyuk will sleep easier knowing that Kihyun's at his house rather than on the streets.

* * *

 

"By the way," Minhyuk says as he drops his bag down next to the seat beside Kihyun, "it started raining at one in the morning last night, so there's no _way_  that you could've left before it started. Maybe during a break or something, but even then the ground and stuff would've been wet."

Kihyun shrugs, writing down ideas for photo shoots in his notebook. "I guess I just didn't notice."

" _Kihyun,_ " he flinches at Minhyuk's use of his name, " _please_. Take care of yourself. I don't want to see you coming into school tomorrow with a fever or something because you were stupid enough to go out when it was raining."

"In my defense," he raises his arms in a surrendered position, "I did try to get an umbrella. The shop didn't have one so I just went home."

"Uh huh," Minhyuk doesn't sound to convinced, but he doesn't push Kihyun anymore, so he considers that as a win. It's silent for a few moments until Minhyuk says, "So Kiki, did you see anything interesting?"

Kihyun's shoulders sag in relief (or, at least, he _thinks_  that it's relief) because Minhyuk not using his nickname was nerve wrecking. "No, not really. The trees looked so pretty, though. Shining in the night, the lamp lights reflecting off of the water on the leaves making the trees glow a dark greenish color." He smiles at Minhyuk, "It was _really_  pretty. I wish I could've taken a picture."

Minhyuk wraps an arm around Kihyun's shoulders and hums, a low, soft sound. "Maybe next time there's a forecast for rain I could convince my parents to let me sleep over and you can show me in person."

Kihyun puts an arm on Minhyuk's waist and leans his head on Minhyuk's shoulder, efficiently melting into him. "That could work, yeah."

He's not lying, either. It could, in theory, work. It's not as though Minhyuk's parents are strangers, with them being family friends and all, so it's not like they have any qualms against letting Minhyuk stay over. The same goes with Kihyun's parents, who have oftentimes told Kihyun about how Minhyuk is like another son to them. Kihyun's only problem with it is that his time alone would get cut off, but Minhyuk already does that with his bi-hourly texts to make sure that Kihyun's alive, so it's not like that would be a huge change.

It... it would be nice, in all honesty.

 

* * *

Kihyun doesn't know why, but the next time he sneaks out he feels drawn to the shop he went to last time.

"It's not raining," is the first thing that Kihyun hears, his attention being immediately drawn to the person behind the counter, "I thought that my loneliness might've actually dreamt you up, strange rain child."

"Child?" Kihyun raises an eyebrow, looking over their face to see any signs of a joke. "We're like, the same height. For all you know I could be older than you."

The person tucks a strand of their grey hair behind their ear and gives him a smile. "What does height have to do with anything? It's genetics that make the height, not the age."

Kihyun scoffs. "Looks like my genetics came up a bit too short, then."

The person tilts their head. "Nah," they look him up and down, "I think your height suits you, actually," they shrug. "It makes you seem more... how do I put this?" They frown. "I don't know, look more neutral? Maybe?"

"More... neutral." Kihyun blinks at them, not knowing what exactly they mean by that. "Um, explain?"

The person ruffles their hair. "I don't know. It's just," they gesture to themselves, "like, you said we're about the same height? Well, people used to like, think I was a boy more often then not when my hair was shorter and stuff, but now that my hair's longer people are like ''oh, that's a girl!'' y'know? And then when my hair was mid length a lot of people wouldn't really know what to think and stuff. And like, I'm definitely not the best example because of _reasons_ , but it just... seems neutral. This probably doesn't make sense, I'm sorry."

"It's fine." Kihyun smiles at her. "I get what you mean, kind of." He stops to think before he asks, "So, how old _are_  you?"

"Sixteen. You?"

Kihyun smirks. "Eighteen, which makes me older than you, _kid_."

"Ah, damn." She shakes her head. "And here I thought I'd finally be the upperclassman."

"Sorry, not today." Kihyun gives her a smile, apologizing when he feels his phone vibrate, a warning from Minhyuk that it's four in the morning and that he should probably start heading back. "Listen, I've actually gotta go right now, since I sort of sneaked out of my house, but this was a good talk. Could I, uh," he pulls the sleeve of his hoodie over his hand, "get your number?"

She puts out her hand. "Yeah, sure, let me plug it in for you."

It's only later, after he's already made the trek back home, sending Minhyuk a picture of his bed and clock, that he really starts to process what she said, making the realization that he forgot to ask her for her name coming too late. He scrolls through his contacts to see what she put herself as, not having to scroll much before he saw "Changsook" written as a contact.

He doesn't give himself time to think about what she said, the _"it just... seems neutral"_  on constant replay in his head, content for the moment with just having her name.

(He thinks that maybe, just _maybe_ , Changsook may be onto something, but the thought leaves as soon at it arrives, his sleep swaddled mind not really processing anything that he was thinking anymore, instead choosing to bring him over the edge of sleep.)

* * *

 

Kihyun, decidedly, asks Minhyuk about it a few weeks later, the time blending almost imperceptibly with all of the things that he's been researching, all of the things that he asks Changsook about because, he may not really know story, but he knows _her_ , knows how she hints at things without asking, knows how she never outright suggests things.

And so yeah, he asks Minhyuk about it, because who could he bother with this without them questioning his entire existence, causing him to panic and close himself off? Who else would stay by his side, even if they didn't understand what he means? Who else did he actually _trust_?

"Is that something that you'd like?" Is what Minhyuk answers with casually, not making a big deal out of Kihyun's question, which he's thankful for. This would've been so much harder if Minhyuk reacted with his usual overdramatics, the thought of it almost bringing Kihyun to tears as he thinks about the joking, faux-upset voice that Minhyuk could've adopted, but _didn't._

The question, however nice towards Kihyun that is was, does make him have to think. _Is_  this something that he wanted? Would he feel more comfortable with it? Would he even _like_  it?

Kihyun doesn't know, not really. This is treading into new, unexplored territory for him, and he's not really _sure_  of anything, but the opportunity that Minhyuk's giving him, the _options_ , it all makes him so free in a way that going out at three in the morning does, in a way that makes him feel terrified yet _excited_. It makes him feel a rush in veins, makes him feel an immense _joy_  and he doesn't know _why_  but-

"Could we give it a try? See if it plays out and all? I just- I want to."

"Okay," Minhyuk smiles at them, his bright, calming smile that they've seen so many times before, in so many different situations, none of which they ever thought would be this but-

"I'm really glad that you told me, Kiki."

But they were okay with this.

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably gonna have another chapter to it, but don't quote me on it because, as stated _many_ times in this fic, it may or may not have solely been written from 3 to 4:30 a.m over the course of three days
> 
> (Please don't be me lol)


End file.
